I walked into Soul Cycle this morning I got such a big hug from a classmate that I always say hi to. Her hug meant a lot to me but I still could not find my inner reset button. I couldn't find my smile. I chatted with a really sweet neighbor of mine who also takes class. She's very compassionate. How lucky am I? Very.
I have determined just a few classmates have "a do not disturb sign on". Do not say hi. DND. So funny but with Noa I do keep my distance because he's my teacher, I love him, I tend to love all my teachers a lot and I tell them but for some reason I don't want to hug Noa and this morning I didn't feel like even smiling at him or saying hi.
I was experiencing what I call a "love deficit" and funny enough Noa quietly overjoyed me by beginning class stating just generally to all that he was in a good mood and he was in so many words flush with love or do I say he in a sweet innocent way stated he was experiencing a "love surplus" -- I can't conjure his words -- they were very touching.
I wonder why do I go to Soul Cycle --maybe I'm eating more... I do more cardio therefore I eat more?
Yes and no. I know I am over eating also a lot of anxiety upset but can't seem to get it together...goal: make friends and peace with the "mass consumer" in me.
One person emailed me eat less make your carbon foot print smaller.
Over eating is self-defeating -- it's exhausting -- ruins working out, ruins one's self-esteem. I complain to kind listeners who tell me it's the weather. If only...
When I started SC I lost weight initially -- now I gained weight -- I do feel I am in far better shape cardio wise but I am upset with the lack of sleep and the packing on the pounds which usually go together. I asked Fitness Pal to add a sleep log but they haven't. There's no doubt in my mind that stress and lack of sleep or directly connected to over eating.
You all know - yes you heard this already (more than once) I was attacked at the doctor's office in Soho -- it's horrific, horrible -- it would almost be funny like a scene out of Larry David's HBO Series or Seinfeld but it isn't -- although I'm used to people laughing. It is so Larry David and the woman that did a running punched my head calls herself Delite. I know because the receptionist that sits next to her spelled her name for me when I called from the police station and asked what was the name of the woman that punched me. Delite sounds like a low calorie dessert but weighs heavy since the attack I have aged so much gained so much weight suffered so much.
Soul Cycle has a running theme -- letting go -- but I really cannot. When Noa asks us to let go and he even has us certain physical movements with our hands and arms believe me I try!!!! Noa is so funny he suggested we put down whatever is burdening us -- he didn't use that terminology -- check your crap with him -- give ourselves a break he will look after our crap for a while -- I am laughing.
Seriously, I don't sleep and mostly because of this trauma I'm in court pursuing the NYPD for their role...The story just seems to get darker and darker evolving from Larry David to Quentin Tarantino...
I do see other Soul Cycle instructors and I love them but for some reason I just keep going back to Noa...I think about quitting Soul Cycle but I just can't.
He looks like a character from Sons of Anarchy which is a rip off of the Hell's Angels by the way and I have to laugh because the founders of Soul Cycle seem to be in to Hell's Angel type imagery aka skulls and transportation.
Noa is a rebel with his music which varies from rock to punk but he's also a rebel because he's got to be the only instructor in the world that has a strong physique partially obscured by a Budha Belly. Noa once said something about love -- something like I'm here for you in the classroom anyone who feels unloved know I'm here I love you. That was winning. He says thangs about seeing yourself with loving eyes. Have compassion starting with yourself. I think his loyal Soul Cycle students see him with loving eyes.
I have to fight shocking Injustice in my life and it would be a miracle and beyond awesome if I won and I set a precedent as well -- let me dream -- I'm in appellate court now and pro se meaning no lawyer but I have to leave a record like a message in a bottle that I tried my hardest.
I'm also filing a second lawsuit and including Manhattan DA and 3 ADAS. I also hope to file a lawsuit against the doctor's office (155 Spring St.) where I was hurt, attacked with a running punch to my head with a lawyer.
I'm still in shock it's been 2 1/4 years I'm dealing with it as best I can. I'm lucky because most people are compassionate.
I get a few meanies to tell me to get over it but how can I when I'm prepping for second lawsuit and hopefully a third.
Soul Cycle is now one of my safe places... Excellent customer service and professional, honest and love lots of security cameras. I don't know how long I'm going to keep going to Soul Cycle. I just know Noa got me to love Soul Cycle. I thought maybe I would give him up and Soul Cycle but when I walked today in with my huge neon sign "LOVE DEFICIT" Noa countered with "LOVE SURPLUS" -- I speaking figuratively and with poetic license.
I always feel like a stranger in a strange land...Life feels really fragile and try not to feel too attached because you never know.
I do know some major events are coming one is I'm thinking about moving yet again maybe to some where less hip and cool?
If I do I will leave behind my oasises my safe places -- I tell myself -- everything I love is just a subway ride away wherever I move it's New York City.
I can't give up Noa -- there are days his playlist just doesn't hit my J spot -- J for joy - today he irritated me instructing us to not look at the door to see the late arrivals but he looks and I want to look. He made me want to pull out a cigarette and my iPhone and start making phone calls during class but I don't smoke and left my phone at home!
Noa is precious -- his cheerfulness today won me over. I felt better.
I just don't feel I can be attached to anything or anybody but I'm human I have attachments. I do wish I could watch Noa's classes from home if I can't attend them. I don't want to miss out on anything like a favorite tv series but attending all his classes is just too much. I asked him how he gets out to Short Hills. He takes public transportation. That is a huge commute. He is dedicated.
Noa reminds me of Francios Truffaut - he digs being in a room with lots of beautiful women and he is the center of attention.
I also do like to take some of the Soul Cycle women instructors that wear the little teeny outfits I dream one day of being smoking hot as them maybe next year when I am 54 because after soul cycle class I had a big donut before going to bed tonight I had a huge bag of popcorn. I am shocked I am this heavy it's really disturbing and to gain weight at my age is not a good thing - this is really upsetting.
I have to get a grip.
I have got to have FAITH be grateful for everything and I know I have passed the halfway mark of my life position away in a make it tomorrow hundred and four. That's why decided to allow myself the gift of Soul Cycle.
Noa remains my favorite instructor.
Sometimes not that interested in what he has to say but I just really really like him.
Can you become addicted to soul cycle instructor?
Noa is my Soul Cycle Shaman. I will get a grip...SC handle bars lose grip...tight grip on my core muscles.
please help this go viral so shame MD, my attacker, NYPD, IAB and Cy Vance, ADAs involved thank you.https://vine.co/v/M3A9b3ehni0Vid 4 second highlights Vine
